Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
