sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
