I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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