i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
this boner is exhausting
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
