Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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