is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
