My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
