I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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