What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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