Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize