He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
