Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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