I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
