I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
