we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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