so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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