And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
