i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
