Your dad touched me again.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
