Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
