I'm really into asian looking animals
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
