Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
