I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
