Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
