Plan B is the new Plan A
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
