Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
