Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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