where am i from again
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
