You're so nebulous sometimes
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
