Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize