I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
