Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
