With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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