things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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