i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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