i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
