I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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