Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
