I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
