For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
