bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
