What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
