Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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