I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
