At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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