Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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