Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize