So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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