Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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