I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
