I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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