He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
