no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
