I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
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