she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
