marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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