maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
