We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize